10:25 AM
Sunday, November 12, 2006
sometimes i think life plays around with me... sometimes i think wadeva's up there just wants to fool around with my life... it's like what the heck... right now it's doing what i think i does... yes... it's fooling with my life... somehow i just hate myself for being so useless right now... for shouting it out loud I HATE MYSELF! everything that has happened must be my fault! all i want is my sister to have a nice birthday nothing more... it's not that i want a palace in the sky or something... everything's that simple but i can't do anithing to accomplish it... im the worst sister ever la... face the facts... we have to eat birthday dinner today because of me... cause i have to be in the lab tml and i'll have to leave early if you did it tml....but we can't have it today cause there's a show on tv that my sister watches... we are stuck having some 3.30 lunch-dinner that my dad won't get to eat if we go on with it... my sister doesn't want to have the dinner without dad as she says it different... and yes i agree it is different if not everybody is around for dinner... my dad's stubborn bout his working time can't even talk sense into him... now my sister's unhappy my mother's angry my father's freaking working and i'm stuck trying to find a solution which i bloody can't get... i hate myself... i can't do a single thing rite... not one.... not even one.... i dun wanna bother best friend there with this now as he's having op tml so i'm lost now... freak... how much tissues have i used???