8:51 PM
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Sometimes i start thinking that maybe having that masked me around is better than showing the vulnerable me... It prevents unwanted trouble, hurt apprehensiveness... At least the masked me is always happy... And never sad, angry, or anything negative... That's probably the strong front that people see most of the time... Well... I never liked the fact of letting my guard down anyway... Given the way all the thing always seem to work out in my life... And to think the 16pf test actually say that I'm optimistic... I feel almost bad about forever telling people to look on the bright side of life... Sorry... But it's true... Now to think of it I almost feel as if I'm lying or something... I don't normally see the bad stuffs in life... But i know... I'm just ignoring it... negative facts probably follow me around and lurk in the darkness of my shadow... I just choose not to see it... Sometimes i'd like to believe... I want to believe... And although I say it out loud that I do believe... Somewhere in my heart i doubt what I believe in... I just wanna close the door to how I feel... But everytime I do so a certain source of darkness sets in... A kind of darkness that I myself despise... The kind that makes reliance on someone feel so warm... Probably darkness is cold... So I'll start closing the door to my emotions again... Leaving just the little gap to let in that little warmth in to keep me from becoming stone...
---NoT LeTt|nG mYsElF OuT...