8:38 PM
Saturday, February 26, 2005
... Sigh ... ... Yes ...... It's another one of those horrible nites of my life ...... again...... The day wasn't bad actually... nope... i don't think it's bcause of anything that happened today that i'm feeling moody... the exchange didn't turn out to be that bad actualli... we didn't ma lu ourselves... so if we continue our pract seriously we might do well this year and make up for the loss... ... if wad they say bout practice making perfect that is.... ... life's contradicting... take for example... practice make perfect... then... nobody's perfect... see? so then wy's practice? nono... don't get me wrong... this is just an example... purely... Contradiction... and behind all that.. lies... (the cursor's blinking in front of me... waiting for my next sentence... but my hands don't seem to want to move... though i'm making it...) i'm just finding fault again... that's why probably i'm moody again... tonight is about this unspecial unloving void life... everything feels empty tonight... yes... sigh... it's so difficult growin up... that i'd rather remain as a one year old... but i'm 15 years too late fer that... i don't want to think bout anything and everything... yet the more i don't wanna feel whatever's happening in my life the more i feel it... and the harder reality hits me.... sigh... another of life's contradiction... sigh.......i wanna hit myself numb... to all and everything... but nothing seem to obey and go my way... my life... my destiny but wad is it truely??? ...